FRANKLY SPEAKING...


If you are African and especially Nigerian, thirty-something and above years old and single, divorced separated or whatever you call it as long as you don't have a ring on it, you will better relate to this.

Quite often, I have had men, ladies tell me how beautiful I am and all that, some try to spice it with a pint of insult by saying, you are just too pretty for your size (like plus size people were all doomed to be ugly); I post a picture of me  (decent pictures) on Facebook, Instagram, twitter and in minutes, so many likes, love, wow , beautiful, exhilarating comments pop up and you could be tempted to feel like a Miss World at those moments. Messages popping up in the inboxes, DMs and men trying to flirt just because for whatever reason, their lust or whatever it is they feel is awakened by the pictures posted.

Fonny Michael

So, recently I ran into an ex who exclaimed "wow you look hot... you are a wonderful person Fonny...", In micro seconds , in my head I went from feeling kind of insulted to thinking, is he ok ? to really???, why is he lusting ? to..but this wasn't enough to keep you.. e.t.c and then I caught myself and screamed in my head "slow down Babe". Ever been in a situation where an ex or a friend in the friend zone who may not know you have a thing for them tells you how wonderful you are as a person, how gorgeous, how kind and caring you are,  bla bla bla but they never made an effort when they had the chance to be in your life in the way you had hoped for or you both never got to be together. Well, I have discovered that, the saying, there is a man for every woman and vice versa could be very true.

You know,sometimes, we create these relationships in our heads with the people that we have somehow allowed our hearts to get attached to and then when we hear or see them in relationships with other people, we go green with jealousy, envy and all these different emotions that we do not need and if not checked, could be become sick obsessions.

Being beautiful , handsome, well-chiseled abs, a power dresser,  kind, good, great , successful, reserved, decent, wonderful, are no guarantees that you will have the person you want. Maybe they belong with someone else, maybe like Bishop T. D. Jakes said, their part in the story of your life ended when they or you walked away, just maybe God separated you from the good so He can give you the best, maybe you quite didn't understand the part they were to play in your lie and gave them more space than they actually deserved. Just maybe...

Fonny Michael

While waiting and looking forward to meeting and subsequently spending a lifetime with your Mr/Mrs Right, do yourself a favour and love yourself now, get better, work harder, become more successful, understand that your own, right, God-given partner will find you and everything will be just fine.



Frankly speaking, we are all created and wired differently, so do yourself a favour and love you the way you are and if you think you are not good enough, get to work and make you better.  The right ONE will come along and stay.

It's in your hands.


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