Wonderful Life








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MUSINGS OF A BURNING HEART

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That moment ,when I am tempted to feel that perhaps I was not good enough for you, that I am inadequate, and don't deserve you, that moment when I feel the pressure of the need to prove my worth to you; I pause, sit back and remind myself who I  really am; a jewel waiting to be purchased from the master craftsman, masterpiece of my Sculptor, worth being treasured. I remind myself that I have invaluable substance, and I am a blessing to any one blessed enough with the gift of me, full of beautiful flaws, beautiful, loved you like my life depended on you. I am an asset you just lost. I remind myself that I am capable of receiving and giving the kind of love you read about in fairy tales or watch on telenovelas, the very kind you have secretly yearned, hoped for, in your heart. Perhaps it isn't me, I was too good for you and you couldn't handle it, maybe you are yet unwilling to learn to accept this magnitude of affection, or could it be that you are not mature enough...
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How my heart beats at the thought of you... I awake again to another day, I turned to look on the other side of the bed and you are not there and then I remembered, it was was all just a beautiful dream. But, how can I make you see me, how can I make you see the intensity of what I feel for you, how can you not see that I am willing to walk away from everything else just to be able to watch the sun rise and set with you, how can you not want this passion, this love, this longing that is right in your face? I try to be the good girl my African society and culture expects me to be; seeing you,  being with you, thinking about you and yet pretending to be in denial of that which fills me and ignites a fire that only you can put out. Every time my phone beeps, I rush to it, silently wishing  in my heart that it would be you, texting or calling just to let me hear the sound of your voice.  I am even worried that you may have become my primary obsession. My friend...
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