FIVE WARNING SIGNS OF AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP

I received some messages from some readers on my last post (The devil called domestic violence) requesting to know exactly how to identify a potentially abusive relationship and I am glad to share a few tips with you and hope all the people who asked will get to read this.

There is no signage on the face of an abuser to let you know that he is dangerous and that you are in or about to go into an abusive relationship but here are a few warning signs that scream "get out while you still can!" They are:

  1. Disrespectful: If he disrespects his mother, sisters, female colleagues and bosses, it is only a matter of time, he will definitely start disrespecting you and yours will be worse. Check if his mother and sisters are scared of talking to him or the females around him are afraid of him. Respect is different from fear. If he exhibits attitudes that show that he does not believe a woman can say anything smart or intelligent, then girlfriend, you need to run as fast as your legs can carry you.
  2. Controlling: This is one behaviour that can not be hidden for very long. Once the guy feels that he has won your heart, he will attempt to dictate how you spend your day, he will chose your friends and pressure you to disassociate from the ones he feels are potential threats to him and to your relationship. He will dictate whose number should be on your contact list and  whose shouldn't, how much you should spend on what, whose calls you should pick and whose you should not, He will also want to be a deciding factor in every little or major decision you try to take. It's alright to guide our partners when we feel that they are not doing the right things or taking the right decisions, but you will know when it is going overboard. 
  3. Manipulative: Abusers are masters of manipulation. They are experts at making you feel that it was your fault when they went off and screamed at you or got violent with you.  What this does  is give you a feeling of guilt and you ultimately start blaming yourself and making excuses for his abusive behaviour towards you.
  4. Fear: if you are afraid of your partner or the guy who is asking you out on a date or asking for a relationship, and you have tangible reasons for this, maybe his body language, intimidation, or who you think he is and what you think he can do to you, you do not need to be in that relationship . In no time, you will loose your self esteem and you don't want to be that girl with a terribly low self esteem. 
  5. Violence: if he beats up his security guard, his driver, his cook , sisters or anyone at the slightest provocation, then it's not going to be any different with you, it's just a matter of time.
I will do a little more  research on this and add more point in my next post. 
Ladies, you deserve the best, don't settle for less.



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

SEX & THE PHYSICALLY/MENTALLY CHALLENGED

Image
I had a conversation with a friend of mine a couple of weeks ago and after that I took a while to think if I should write something on this or not. What triggered that conversation was that, a crippled woman on a wheel chair pulled up beside my car in traffic asking for alms; She had an obviously malnourished child who should be about two years old with her and was clearly pregnant with another child. My big rhetorical question was "What kind of person would do this to this woman?" Every now and then we hear stories of physically and mentally challenged people being sexually abused especially the people with mental disabilities, they are raped, maltreated and neglected, sometimes by the very people who are supposed to protect them. They are sometimes left at the mercies of strangers and the cycle of abuse and uncertainties continue. I know that people with disabilities whether physical or mental also have sexual needs because they are human beings with emotional
Read more

TAKE A BREATHER, WILL YOU?

Image
It's a casual Tuesday for me Guys, no thanks to my drycleaner 😩😳😞😞 So,  as I was trying to come up with a simple, casual ensemble to wear out this morning, my house keeper walks into my room with my wig all brushed up nicely and handed it over to me, she saw the look of despair on my face as she handed it to me,  and quietly dropped the wig on my dressing table. I told her after dressing up, that I do not want any wigs, extensions or attachments on my hair for a few days , at least until the coming week, "let my hair and scalp breathe",  I said. Sometimes in life, we get to face disappointments, failures or some quite unpleasant situations and try to do all we can to cover for them or at least pretend like they didn't happen or we didn't go through them, and sometimes, we get so worked up over them that we loose our inner peace, sleep and the zest for our passion, dreams, or even life itself. Challenges come, but great times also come too.
Read more

FASHION TIPS FOR CURVY GIRLS

Image
In case you don't know yet, size 10 is the new size 6. Being curvy is OK but you need to wear the right stuff and understand that not all latest fashion trends are suitable for curvy girls. We create our own unique style and baby we look hot in it! For my curvy ladies, here are a few tips that could help. Wear dresses that accentuate your best features. You do not want the stomach area to make you look like you are pregnant when you are not . Chose your fabrics carefully, stretch fabric is a good option. Do not hide yourself under a shapeless gown or big skirts. Avoid too many drapes , layers or ruffles on your dresses. Keep it simple, classy and chic. Make Up: Be bold with your make up but make sure you use the right colors, blending colors are still very trendy and gloss really works for pretty curvy girls. Your mascara, blush, red lipsticks should always be close to you (in your bag always if possible). Your Hair: Your hair speaks volumes about you, Keep
Read more